When I was in middle school I would have told you with absolute conviction that I was going to be a famous published author by the time I was twenty-five.
In a few short months I’ll be twice that age and neither published nor famous.
Nuances of that pipe dream aside, having found myself firmly in the middle of middle age and midlife, I can’t help but also look both forward and back as I recognize this deep and urgent need to make something that matters.
I’m sure we all stumble upon this kind of existential crisis sooner or later, and while some might sooth that thirst with a fancy car or a quirky hobby or a dangerous liaison, there are more than a few of us who look at middle life as a moment to evaluate our creative output and try to get our minds around how to adjust its trajectory for a rapidly decreasing timeframe.
I don’t have the first real clue towards a solid answer, if I’m being honest, but I do have a lot of questions and even more thoughts on the matter. Maybe you have some of the same questions.
Under the category of Exist & Deny I’ll be writing more on this topic as the months wear on.
Terms FROm this POSt
- existential crisis
- I often use this term with a dash of hyperbole, but we artists are nothing if not susceptible to occasionally questioning everything about who we are, what we’ve done, and what it means about our future. Hang on tight and ride it through.
- pipe dream
- Insert drug reference here, but this turn of phrase is a kin to planning in the throes of an hallucination. I don’t typically pipe dream, but I sometimes fall in the trap of coming up with unrealistic plans.
